I didn’t think there were any dinosaurs left in the world today,
But I bumped into one doing his shopping
Up at Tesco back in May.
He was in the delicatessen queue –
He had ticket number nine –
And I was totally terrified,
Right behind him in the line!
He turned and said, “Don’t worry chuck,
I’m very pleased to meet you.
Gone are the days when dinosaurs
Would stroll right up and eat you!
Our lives have changed dramatically;
Now we just want peace and quiet.
And as far as eating people goes –
They’re completely off our diet!”
With a tear in my eye, I breathed a great sigh –
A sigh that was full of relief.
He took hold of my hand,
Said, “You’re looking right grand!”
Then he told me that his name was Keith.
He then bought some cheese
And he even said ‘please’,
So gentle and ever so tactile...
With a nod of his head, he said:
“There by the bread is my mate –
He’s a green Pterodactyl.
And there’s Danny and Vix,
They’re Archaeopteryx,
With two of their kids in the middle.
I’ve not seen them in here for over a year
As they mostly do shopping in Lidl.
And just over there, buying stuff for her hair,
Is Brenda (who is trying to ignore us).
She’s a bit of a snob when I’m out with the mob –
She’s a typical girl Brontosaurus.”
Well I was so shaken, I dropped all my bacon
And my eyes had a struggle to focus!
It’s not every day you just happen to say
‘Hello’ to a huge Diplodocus.
So I guess it’s all true, all the hullabaloo,
About Tesco and clubcards and such...
’Cos if dinosaurs pop in to do all their shopping
Then every little helps there so much!
Bernard Collings
Lily Randell