People on a bench
It's important to talk about your wishes with those closest to you
Let’s be real for a second, who really wants to be bringing up the subject of death and dying? It can be a difficult and awkward thing to bring up, right? But the truth is no matter what stage of your life you are at, it really should be something you are talking about or at least thinking about.
We understand it’s not always easy to know how to talk to someone about dying - there can be feelings of awkwardness, embarrassment and fear and these tend to be the reason as to why we shy away from it all. But every adult has the right to plan their own wishes and there may come a time when you are too unwell to tell those caring for you what you do and don’t want when it comes to your end of life care.
So where do you start?
It may help if you start writing down your ideas and wishes first before you share them. Don’t feel pressured into doing it all at once, you can pause and revisit if you need to - it’s a good thing that you are starting to think about it.
Once you have it written down, it’s then a good time to share these with your family and friends. So how do you find the right moment? Try and find a time when you are relaxed, have plenty of time to talk and you feel at ease - this could be a dog walk or car journey. Be prepared for people to ask questions but remember this is about you and what you want.
It’s also important to tell your doctor your wishes. We advise that you have your wishes written down so that you can share copies with your GP (and your family and friends). By providing your GP with a copy of your wishes they can make sure that this is added to your patient record. You may also wish for this to be shared with other healthcare professionals who may be involved in your end of life care.
There is a really useful website https://compassionindying.org.uk/ that gives you lots of information on planning and provides online and downloadable forms which you can take to your GP informing them of the wishes you have. https://www.dyingmatters.org/ is also a useful website which gives lots of tips on how to start the conversation.
By discussing your wishes with the important people in your life, it helps give you a peace of mind knowing that your wishes have been understood and met, meaning your end of life care is going to be how you want it to be.
By Jazzmine Squire, Okehampton Medical Centre