New Year Resolutions
By Dr Jo Coldron, Tavyside Medical Centre, Tavistock
I love the new year - not the New Year’s Eve bit as being an aging lark now I’m certainly not the life and soul of the party at midnight – but I love the blank slate of January the 1st and am a serial resolution-maker, albeit with variable success. Like many of us I’ve failed quite a few and am starting to think about how best to approach it this year. After the last couple of years, it feels even more important to succeed at something, to be kind to ourselves and for things just to be that bit better than they were somehow. Sometimes my failures have been outside of my control. The 2020 resolution of ‘throw a dinner party per month’ did not survive a global pandemic for example. Often though the failure is because I haven’t planned the resolution correctly, or it’s too big or just not right for me, so I have been researching how to succeed at resolutions.
I think the most important thing is to choose a resolution for you – not for anyone else. It has to be something you really want to change and are ready to change. We could all do a million things better in the eyes of our family or GP or bank manager but the thing we change this year should be about us. It could well be stopping smoking or saving money each month - but it might be something as idiosyncratic as trying a different hairstyle each week or dancing to all the chart-topping songs from the 1960s. If it will make you happier and therefore healthier, or braver, or move more, or get you meeting people or anything that is a positive change, then go for it.
If you’re serious about using this moment to enact change it’s worth taking time to think about exactly what it is you want to achieve and why. For example, a common resolution is to ‘lose weight’, but this is so vague and so vast it feels instantly overwhelming. Make sure the final goal really reflects what you truly want, perhaps it’s not really to lose weight but to be able to enjoy playing football with your son (although losing weight is certainly part of that journey). To stay motivated to reach that goal it’s useful to write down why you want to make this change, and why it will make your life better. For example, the ways playing football with your son will make your life better could be: ‘I’ll get to have quality time with my son, I’ll be able to reconnect with some old friends who play social football, it will improve my health, it will inspire the whole family to be more active, it will allow me to do more active things with daughter and wife’. If you’re ever feeling a little discouraged, boost your morale by checking in with this list.
Instead of having just one end goal, break it down into mini-goals and things to achieve. For the resolution ‘lose weight’, rather than having set weight goals and failing your resolution if you don’t meet them, you could have a list of steps like this:
January: stop buying chocolate biscuits and crisps on weekly shop
February: join a weight management class with a friend
March: start walking an average of 7000 steps per day
April: try one new sport/exercise group per week
So every month is exciting with a new challenge and you are constantly achieving things and winning. You don’t need to change everything on 1st January. It’s a good idea to tell people/someone about your goal so they can support you. Even better, join forces with someone who wants to achieve the same thing as you so you can support each other. We are significantly better at self-improvement when we know someone is checking in on our progress. Keep a journal or a record of some kind about your successes along the way - and be kind to yourself and forgive the lapses. We are all human and if this change was easy, we would be doing it already! Remember this new year the focus should be on happiness, fun, joy and health – focusing on the positives and not the negatives and being kind to ourselves.
For anyone who makes a resolution - good luck and enjoy succeeding!